Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Alright, let me start off by reminding you that, NO, I'm not a Star Wars psuedo-nerd who'd urinate in traffic at the thought of getting tickets. But I must admit, I DID get sucked into all of the hype and finally figure, "What the hell? I know I'm going to see it at some point, it might as well be now."
So I went. And I watched. And I wondered. I wondered, "Why the HELL did all those nerdy professional critics give this film such bad reviews?" Call me a sucker for bright lights and loud noise, but I thought this movie was great. Yes, you heard me. Great. But before I blather on about my own opinions, I suppose I should give you all a general plot outline.
The planet Naboo, run by Queen Amidala (Natalie Portman) has been invaded by the evil Federation over a taxation dispute. Two Jedi Knights, Qui-Gon Jinn (Liam Neeson) and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) are assigned to transport the Queen from Naboo to some other planet where she can speak to the Senate, in the hopes that they can help her planet. On the way, they must stop at (where else?) Tatooine, where they free a slave boy named Anakin Skywalker (Jake Lloyd), whom Qui-Gon believes could be the "chosen one" of the Jedi. They take him with them and eventually make it to the Senate. Meanwhile, however, Emperor Palpatine of the Federation has dispatched his new apprentice, Darth Maul, to seek out and destroy the two Jedi Knights and the boy. The movie culminates in several battle scenes that you'll need to see to believe.
Now, needless to say, this movie was visually stunning. The special effects? Terrific. The greatest I've ever seen in any movie, bar none. The battle scenes, specifically the mass battle on Naboo and the climactic "final" battle are well-done and exciting. Hell, even though I had the ending of the damn movie spoiled for me before I saw it, the final battle scene still had my heart racing. I know it sounds stupid, but it's true. The track "Duel of the Fates" is a great one; very fitting to the movie and one that's bound to get stuck in your head real quick.
The "cameo" roles of classic Star Wars characters such as R2-D2, C-3PO, Yoda and Jabba the Hutt make you remember what it's all about, but gladly don't eat up movie time to the extent where you ask yourself, "Why am I listening to this metallic queer?" or "Am I the only one here getting sick of that fat blob up there?" The addition of new.. ahem.. characters such as Jar Jar Binks is supposed to give fans of this trilogy the feeling of being introduced to new, surprising characters that folks in the 70's did. Jar Jar just appeared to me as some weird racial stereotype that rambled on too much in an unintelligible language.
Speaking of unintelligible, I'll admit that this film wasn't the greatest when it came to acting or dialogue (aside from those little commercial poems that were memorable in a campy sort of way), although there isn't one actor who did not do well in their role. But, you know what? I DON'T CARE! Alright, I AM a sucker for bright lights and loud noises, because the Phantom Menace ROCKED. I definitely recommend it for anyone even remotely interested in having a genuinely enjoyable movie experience, Star Wars nerd or not.
When does Episode II come out, again?
Rating: 94%
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